ManagerZine Archive Favorite
2. How To Change Yourself: Keys To Personal Growth
Ebenezer Scrooge wakes up on Christmas morning a new and happy man.
The night before he went to bed early, humbugging the season and those
who celebrate it. Cynical, isolated, callous. In between is the classic story
of insight, reflection, and personal change.
Actually, for the performance consultants in the audience, Dickens leaves
us guessing whether Scrooge has changed for all time into a benevolent
soul or if he will revert to the old Scrooge again in the final reel. If he did
become dysfunctional again, it would be only too human. Unfortunately, the
pattern is familiar to us. A person wants to change; they try on their own for
a while, and then relapse to past behaviors. Anyone who has gone on the
prosaic post-New Year’s diet has struggled with this; so have people who
receive a feedback message on the need to change their performance. And
so it is with people who simply want to improve whatever it is they want to
improve.
There is no shortage of people who sincerely want to improve themselves.
However, it takes knowledge about how to make changes to actually take
the steps needed to make change last. Knowing how is a critical tool for
managers, whether directed to helping employees or themselves.
What are the elements of change that work? The following points have been
derived from our experience in working with both individuals and teams
over the past two decades. We have incorporated a sample of lessons from
other performance consultants including counselors, sports coaches and
psychologists. This applies to most behavior changes from losing weight
and exercising to improving job skills and becoming more effective as a
manager.
1. SAVOR the gap and its consequences.
This is what starts it all off. People change when they see the distance
between the way they are in comparison to the way they want to be. The
consequences of that gap are critical. Even a performance gap as simple as
not being proficient at reading complex financial statements has a
consequence. There are more obvious consequences to a manager who isn’t a
clear communicator, who doesn’t confront differences, or who is disorganized
and the like.
How the person gets to appreciate (“savor”) that gap comes in many different
ways. Feedback from others is one route. Unfortunately, we’ve all seen this
kind of feedback dismissed too often. Ask any teenager who’s been asked to
clean up their room. The gap is really savored when the consequences of the
gap cause discomfort and unpleasantness that finally becomes unacceptable.
When the performer sees that gap and connects the “pain” it is causing with
the behavior that is causing it, then motivational seeds for change are planted.
A choice is made. Without that insight, there is no emotional buy-in to change.
Often, a person comes to this realization alone after many trials and errors. The
movie, “Groundhog Day,” is what this concept is all about. If you live through it
enough, eventually, and hopefully, there is a moment of rational thinking,
cause and effect. However, a manager can help this process.
Point out the performance gap.
“You don’t come to meetings prepared with the necessary facts.”
Ask about the consequences. “How do you feel about the problems that
creates for you (delays, errors, rework, reputation)?”
Make sure the person links the consequences to the behavior. “The reason you
have to do all that rework and no one liked your idea was that you weren’t
organized.”
Ask the person if they are satisfied with the consequences.
Empathize. Explain that other people have had gaps and other people have
closed them, whether it is learning complex skills or something simple, like
showing up to work on time.
2. CREATE a goal and savor its consequences.
A goal is the other side of the performance gap. The more clear
and vivid that is, the more tangible and accessible. For example,
when raw recruits arrive at Great Lakes Naval Training Center
and are marshaled together for their initial “march” to the
processing area, they walk by other recruits who have been in
training for two months. These recruits are expertly marching in
squared-away uniforms, chanting various cadence calls. The
Company Commander says, in his own unique way, that the new
arrivals will, in fact, be doing the same thing. “That is what you
will be.” The new arrivals are impressed; the veterans know it.
Goal and consequences are accessible to the new arrivals. The
modeling going on shows that a high standard of difficult
performance is possible.
When a goal is working, it motivates. When it isn’t, it’s wallpaper.
How motivating is, “We’re going to be the world’s best check
clearing operation?” Seriously, folks, there’s no picture in that.
How can you help the goal formation process?
Model the behavior or point out models. Point them out when they
are succeeding and/or overcoming obstacles.
Encourage the person to seek models on their own.
Help the person visualize what success looks like in behavioral terms.
Define the outcome, the desired end-state and indicators of that end state.
How will the person know where “there” is?
3. GO to school, invest in learning, get grounded.
A person who wants to achieve a tangible goal will become a learner, a
somewhat obsessed learner. Self-motivated learners will scour bookstores for
references, talk to experts, subscribe to magazines, take courses, find support
groups, inhabit newsgroups and surf websites related to what they are trying
to work on. If it’s time management or public speaking, someone, somewhere
has a web page on it. Same is true of leadership qualities, sales skills,
management development and anything else, from weight-lifting to chess.
When a person who wants to change gets involved in learning, two things
happen. They become knowledgeable quickly about what it is they have to do
and how to do it. They also continue to motivate themselves by reading about
and studying success stories and role models.
One of our friends was determined to end the couch potato phase of her life
and become the athlete she was when she was younger. She learned about
certain long-distance charity bicycle rides, signed up and began training. She
went to school on her own on training methods, equipment and techniques.
She literally couldn’t drive by a bike shop without stopping and just browsing;
she bee-lined over to the “Cycling” section in Borders Books every time she
went in. She was psyched and excited. She became involved and extremely
knowledgeable about what to do and how to do it. Now, she rides in one
charity ride a year. Her goal.
A study of two different groups of surgeons learning a new and technically
challenging procedure shows how teams can change together. One surgical
team went to school on the new procedure. They met between operations to
study best practices and plan maneuvers in a conference room. Members of the
surgical team examined and clarified their roles. They-surgeons, nurses,
technicians- all discussed the skills involved. After each operation, the team
debriefed, studied its procedures, and systematically and intentionally
investigated itself. A similar team was less dogmatic and, consequentially, less
successful in becoming an efficient team.
How can a manager help?
Provide resources
Provide experiences for the person to practice new skills in a safe way and
provide supportive, helpful feedback
Provide your own insight and advice
Connect the person to others who might be helpful
4. DO it every day.
Here is where real change takes place. People change when they
incorporate new behavior into every day’s activities. If it is improving
public speaking, it means looking for an opportunity to practice every day.
If is it improving analytical skills, practice solving problems every day. As the
literature on skill development has shown, skill improvement is somewhat
ambiguous at first and then progress skyrockets.
The plan is simple: Practice. Frequent, varied practice.
Practice becomes a habit for people interested in change. Frequent practice
nails it. What they see as a result over time are gradual changes in how
people react to them, how things are getting done faster and more efficiently,
or how conflicts are managed more effectively. Each trial yields some result
that in turn pushes the new behavior towards the person’s permanent way of
doing things. This is what the Nike ad is all about: Just Do It. The premise is
just do it, and you will start to see improvement.
Once again, a manager can:
- Coach a person through trials
- Provide feedback
- Remind people to just do it
- Monitor the daily routine
5. HAVE patience, and remember where you started from.
Improvement takes time. In the middle of practice and attempts
to improve, people can forget what they are doing all this for. The
eyes should occasionally go back to the prize. Progress and
improvement should be noted, documented, celebrated. Having a
long-term view of change takes as much discipline as making the
change itself.
How many of us would be playing the piano now if we had to
patience to stick through the hard parts when we were seven
years old?
At this point, a manager can help by:
Pointing out progress
Keep measures of performance
Encourage the person to occasionally go back to doing easier
tasks that the person once considered difficult
6. LEARN from your own experience; teach others.
Change becomes cemented when a person is providing direction
and advice to others. The reinforcement comes from people who
are experiencing a similar gap. When a person teaches someone
else the skill, it forces clarity of thinking and, more important,
makes the person a symbol of the change. That’s called
“publishing,” and it raises the stakes, in a public way, for
maintaining the changed behavior. Now the change and the
person are linked together in other people’s minds. A manager
can help this process by:
Encouraging the person to become a mentor to others
Creating opportunities for the person to talk about what they
have learned
Referring others to the person for advice and insights
7. FINALLY, recognize the reward.
There are outward rewards for achieving personal change. These might be
a promotion, a raise, interesting assignments, an opportunity for exposure
to higher management. Or, it might be a trophy of some kind, an icon of
achievement. When a person changes their personal behavior to achieve a
goal, they might buy themselves a special treat to commemorate that
achievement. Curiously, these aren’t as meaningful as inner rewards.
Research has demonstrated over and over that the inner reward of
achievement sustains the changed behavior. When people feel the effects
of closing the gap, when the new capability or skill has become a habit, a
piece of their life changes for the better. It may be a small change, for
example, people might listen with more respect to them in meetings
because they are more organized and focused, or it may be a big change,
like learning to minimize stress in their work. The consequences become
the rewards. That’s when change becomes habit.
When you think about all of the above, several themes emerge. Belief in
goals, clear consequences for success, discipline and drive, action. A
secret ingredient is another person. Personal change can be done by an
individual; it is much easier with a coach or a like-minded team.
Remember, Ebenezer Scrooge had some ghosts to help him get through the
night.
© 2006 Singularity Group
2. How To Change Yourself: Keys To Personal Growth
Ebenezer Scrooge wakes up on Christmas morning a new and happy man.
The night before he went to bed early, humbugging the season and those
who celebrate it. Cynical, isolated, callous. In between is the classic story
of insight, reflection, and personal change.
Actually, for the performance consultants in the audience, Dickens leaves
us guessing whether Scrooge has changed for all time into a benevolent
soul or if he will revert to the old Scrooge again in the final reel. If he did
become dysfunctional again, it would be only too human. Unfortunately, the
pattern is familiar to us. A person wants to change; they try on their own for
a while, and then relapse to past behaviors. Anyone who has gone on the
prosaic post-New Year’s diet has struggled with this; so have people who
receive a feedback message on the need to change their performance. And
so it is with people who simply want to improve whatever it is they want to
improve.
There is no shortage of people who sincerely want to improve themselves.
However, it takes knowledge about how to make changes to actually take
the steps needed to make change last. Knowing how is a critical tool for
managers, whether directed to helping employees or themselves.
What are the elements of change that work? The following points have been
derived from our experience in working with both individuals and teams
over the past two decades. We have incorporated a sample of lessons from
other performance consultants including counselors, sports coaches and
psychologists. This applies to most behavior changes from losing weight
and exercising to improving job skills and becoming more effective as a
manager.
1. SAVOR the gap and its consequences.
This is what starts it all off. People change when they see the distance
between the way they are in comparison to the way they want to be. The
consequences of that gap are critical. Even a performance gap as simple as
not being proficient at reading complex financial statements has a
consequence. There are more obvious consequences to a manager who isn’t a
clear communicator, who doesn’t confront differences, or who is disorganized
and the like.
How the person gets to appreciate (“savor”) that gap comes in many different
ways. Feedback from others is one route. Unfortunately, we’ve all seen this
kind of feedback dismissed too often. Ask any teenager who’s been asked to
clean up their room. The gap is really savored when the consequences of the
gap cause discomfort and unpleasantness that finally becomes unacceptable.
When the performer sees that gap and connects the “pain” it is causing with
the behavior that is causing it, then motivational seeds for change are planted.
A choice is made. Without that insight, there is no emotional buy-in to change.
Often, a person comes to this realization alone after many trials and errors. The
movie, “Groundhog Day,” is what this concept is all about. If you live through it
enough, eventually, and hopefully, there is a moment of rational thinking,
cause and effect. However, a manager can help this process.
Point out the performance gap.
“You don’t come to meetings prepared with the necessary facts.”
Ask about the consequences. “How do you feel about the problems that
creates for you (delays, errors, rework, reputation)?”
Make sure the person links the consequences to the behavior. “The reason you
have to do all that rework and no one liked your idea was that you weren’t
organized.”
Ask the person if they are satisfied with the consequences.
Empathize. Explain that other people have had gaps and other people have
closed them, whether it is learning complex skills or something simple, like
showing up to work on time.
2. CREATE a goal and savor its consequences.
A goal is the other side of the performance gap. The more clear
and vivid that is, the more tangible and accessible. For example,
when raw recruits arrive at Great Lakes Naval Training Center
and are marshaled together for their initial “march” to the
processing area, they walk by other recruits who have been in
training for two months. These recruits are expertly marching in
squared-away uniforms, chanting various cadence calls. The
Company Commander says, in his own unique way, that the new
arrivals will, in fact, be doing the same thing. “That is what you
will be.” The new arrivals are impressed; the veterans know it.
Goal and consequences are accessible to the new arrivals. The
modeling going on shows that a high standard of difficult
performance is possible.
When a goal is working, it motivates. When it isn’t, it’s wallpaper.
How motivating is, “We’re going to be the world’s best check
clearing operation?” Seriously, folks, there’s no picture in that.
How can you help the goal formation process?
Model the behavior or point out models. Point them out when they
are succeeding and/or overcoming obstacles.
Encourage the person to seek models on their own.
Help the person visualize what success looks like in behavioral terms.
Define the outcome, the desired end-state and indicators of that end state.
How will the person know where “there” is?
3. GO to school, invest in learning, get grounded.
A person who wants to achieve a tangible goal will become a learner, a
somewhat obsessed learner. Self-motivated learners will scour bookstores for
references, talk to experts, subscribe to magazines, take courses, find support
groups, inhabit newsgroups and surf websites related to what they are trying
to work on. If it’s time management or public speaking, someone, somewhere
has a web page on it. Same is true of leadership qualities, sales skills,
management development and anything else, from weight-lifting to chess.
When a person who wants to change gets involved in learning, two things
happen. They become knowledgeable quickly about what it is they have to do
and how to do it. They also continue to motivate themselves by reading about
and studying success stories and role models.
One of our friends was determined to end the couch potato phase of her life
and become the athlete she was when she was younger. She learned about
certain long-distance charity bicycle rides, signed up and began training. She
went to school on her own on training methods, equipment and techniques.
She literally couldn’t drive by a bike shop without stopping and just browsing;
she bee-lined over to the “Cycling” section in Borders Books every time she
went in. She was psyched and excited. She became involved and extremely
knowledgeable about what to do and how to do it. Now, she rides in one
charity ride a year. Her goal.
A study of two different groups of surgeons learning a new and technically
challenging procedure shows how teams can change together. One surgical
team went to school on the new procedure. They met between operations to
study best practices and plan maneuvers in a conference room. Members of the
surgical team examined and clarified their roles. They-surgeons, nurses,
technicians- all discussed the skills involved. After each operation, the team
debriefed, studied its procedures, and systematically and intentionally
investigated itself. A similar team was less dogmatic and, consequentially, less
successful in becoming an efficient team.
How can a manager help?
Provide resources
Provide experiences for the person to practice new skills in a safe way and
provide supportive, helpful feedback
Provide your own insight and advice
Connect the person to others who might be helpful
4. DO it every day.
Here is where real change takes place. People change when they
incorporate new behavior into every day’s activities. If it is improving
public speaking, it means looking for an opportunity to practice every day.
If is it improving analytical skills, practice solving problems every day. As the
literature on skill development has shown, skill improvement is somewhat
ambiguous at first and then progress skyrockets.
The plan is simple: Practice. Frequent, varied practice.
Practice becomes a habit for people interested in change. Frequent practice
nails it. What they see as a result over time are gradual changes in how
people react to them, how things are getting done faster and more efficiently,
or how conflicts are managed more effectively. Each trial yields some result
that in turn pushes the new behavior towards the person’s permanent way of
doing things. This is what the Nike ad is all about: Just Do It. The premise is
just do it, and you will start to see improvement.
Once again, a manager can:
- Coach a person through trials
- Provide feedback
- Remind people to just do it
- Monitor the daily routine
5. HAVE patience, and remember where you started from.
Improvement takes time. In the middle of practice and attempts
to improve, people can forget what they are doing all this for. The
eyes should occasionally go back to the prize. Progress and
improvement should be noted, documented, celebrated. Having a
long-term view of change takes as much discipline as making the
change itself.
How many of us would be playing the piano now if we had to
patience to stick through the hard parts when we were seven
years old?
At this point, a manager can help by:
Pointing out progress
Keep measures of performance
Encourage the person to occasionally go back to doing easier
tasks that the person once considered difficult
6. LEARN from your own experience; teach others.
Change becomes cemented when a person is providing direction
and advice to others. The reinforcement comes from people who
are experiencing a similar gap. When a person teaches someone
else the skill, it forces clarity of thinking and, more important,
makes the person a symbol of the change. That’s called
“publishing,” and it raises the stakes, in a public way, for
maintaining the changed behavior. Now the change and the
person are linked together in other people’s minds. A manager
can help this process by:
Encouraging the person to become a mentor to others
Creating opportunities for the person to talk about what they
have learned
Referring others to the person for advice and insights
7. FINALLY, recognize the reward.
There are outward rewards for achieving personal change. These might be
a promotion, a raise, interesting assignments, an opportunity for exposure
to higher management. Or, it might be a trophy of some kind, an icon of
achievement. When a person changes their personal behavior to achieve a
goal, they might buy themselves a special treat to commemorate that
achievement. Curiously, these aren’t as meaningful as inner rewards.
Research has demonstrated over and over that the inner reward of
achievement sustains the changed behavior. When people feel the effects
of closing the gap, when the new capability or skill has become a habit, a
piece of their life changes for the better. It may be a small change, for
example, people might listen with more respect to them in meetings
because they are more organized and focused, or it may be a big change,
like learning to minimize stress in their work. The consequences become
the rewards. That’s when change becomes habit.
When you think about all of the above, several themes emerge. Belief in
goals, clear consequences for success, discipline and drive, action. A
secret ingredient is another person. Personal change can be done by an
individual; it is much easier with a coach or a like-minded team.
Remember, Ebenezer Scrooge had some ghosts to help him get through the
night.
© 2006 Singularity Group
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Well-Spoken
"Substantial change
requires an alternation
of the heart."
Anonymous
"If you always do what
you've always done,
you'll always get what
you've always got."
Anonymous
"Substantial change
requires an alternation
of the heart."
Anonymous
"If you always do what
you've always done,
you'll always get what
you've always got."
Anonymous